Dec 24 2010

twas the night before Christmas… the culturally correct version [day 211]

Let me me be perfectly honest here.  I really hate holidays.  And, I’m an equal opportunity holiday hater, I don’t like any of them.  I love Christmas, that is the true meaning of Christmas, but I hate the cultural crap that comes along with it.  I just want to skip all this and move on to the new year.  I don’t want to spend a bunch of money I don’t have, I don’t want to eat a bunch of sweets, I don’t want to do the holiday dog and pony show, I don’t want to go to holiday parties alone, I don’t want to go to them with a spouse I don’t have, I do not like it in a box, I do not like it with a fox. I do not like green trees, this sham or culture’s Christmas, mad I am.

Some people think the Grinch stole Christmas, nobody cared, so he gave it back and everyone lived happily ever after.  That’s the fictional version of the story, because you and I know darn well, that if someone stole all of the things in our house and all the gifts from under the tree, we would not all be in the street holding hands and singing.   The story would be a little different…  Here it is, in the form of “Twas the night before Christmas.” Enjoy…

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the town

Many creatures were stirring, using credit around;

The plasma tv was unloaded with care,

In hopes that the credit bill was lost in the mail;

My kids wanting toys, finances in red,

While visions of electronics danced in their heads;

Me on my laptop, looking for deals,

Wondering where I will get the next meal;  Continue reading


Sep 1 2010

you can't possibly eat all that!!! [day 97]

One of my favorite websites, and has been for many years, is toothpastefordinner.com.  A collection of funny little cartoons that are way to close to reality.  My subject today?  Leftovers.

For just about everyone, they either love them or hate them.  After spending many years in the restaurant business, I can safely say that much food goes wasted.  Leftovers at home are easy to deal with, as you just slap them in a container and throw them in the fridge.  In a restaurant, you have to actually carry them home.  And if you ordered something like shrimp pasta, you already ate all of the shrimp out of it, but probably have lots of pasta left.  Yes!  You know I’m talking to you!  I’m talking to all of us.  There’s no way we can eat everything that is served in a typical restaurant meal.  The bigger the portions, the more money they can charge and you feel all warm and good because you’re getting a lot of food for your money.

Whether or not you like leftovers, here’s a few things to consider.

  • Split a meal when going out. There’s plenty of food for two people, not to mention you can always order more if you’re still hungry.  I’ve never had to order more food.
  • Plan for leftovers. Go in knowing you will eat half of what you order and bring the rest home for lunch or dinner.  (yes, I’m saying to save a few of the shrimp for tomorrow)
  • Bring a container. Okay, this might appeal to about one person out there.  Leftovers usually travel home in a styrofoam container, inside a large plastic bag.  Bring a container with you.  Okay, I’m aware that guys would just look crazy doing this and women probably have no extra purse space.  I guess I’ll have to figure out how to make this a trendy, cool thing to do.
  • Give it away, give it away now… check out day 38.  Are you going somewhere after dinner?  Give the leftovers away.

Okay, I have to tell this little story.  I went out with a large group of people and few months ago.  I had my kids with me and they sat at the kids table.  I was sitting far away from them and I just let them order on their own.  I gave them no instruction, so they could have ordered a ton of food with ice cream for all, and I wouldn’t have known until the check came.  Well, the check came.  I looked puzzled and asked the waitress if it was correct.  I was charged for only one kids meal.  She looked at me and said, “Yes, it’s correct.  Your kids shared a meal.”   Yes!  :)